The Apostle Paul experienced exactly the same thing
In Romans he discusses this frustrating and confusing syndrome in detail.
The things that I want to do, I do not do, and the things that I do not want to do, I do. (Romans 7:15)
For more read Romans 7:14-25.
We become like computers that frustratingly fail time and time again. We are constantly rebooting ourselves. We have to regroup, get ourselves reorganized and then make another start. We do this over and over again and it’s wildly frustrating.
What causes this “dilemma”?
It’s really very simple. It’s because we have begun our new life of trusting God and walking by faith. Unfortunately we retain our old natural, habitual approach to living our lives and that is to do things ourselves.
You can’t live the Christian life on your own power.
You’ve got to learn to trust God. You’ve got to learn patience. You’ve got to learn to walk in dependence upon Him step by step, day by day. We all do when we become new Christians.
It’s like learning to walk all over again.
As babies we fell down time and time again learning to walk. As Christians we fall down time and time again learning to walk in dependence upon Him. It’s frustrating. It’s infuriating. But don’t lose hope because eventually we learn…just like we learned to walk as children.
What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:24-25)
If you’re failing, it’s only because you’re trying to do things on your own power.
Shift your focus back to God and let Him work through you. You’ll see a different power at work in your life. It’s a process where you mature and grow stronger as you “feed” on the word of God.