There is a direct correlation between confidence and winning.
Winners aren’t necessarily better than you. They just do things differently.
They think differently, work differently, schedule differently, and react differently. Not everyone will win, but those willing to pay the price will have a better chance of succeeding.
We need more finishers. We need more confident people.
Confidence is a mindset that all winners have in common.
Confidence is a mindset that all winners have in common. Click To Tweet
Take a step back and reflect on the last time you saw someone win—maybe it was a race, game, sporting event, or an award.
These people didn’t win by accident. They had the confidence that they would win before the competition even started.
But with that said, you don’t need to be competing in the Olympics to be confident.
Life Is a Competition
Learning the habits of confident people can help you change your life. The way you think and behave on a daily basis will start to change.
I’ve identified some overlooked things highly confident people do differently. Apply these habits to your own life, build confidence, and— in turn—be more successful.
1. Don’t Judge Others
Passing judgment is a characteristic of people who are self-conscious.
In order to feel better about themselves, they constantly judge others. They judge their friends, family, co-workers, and even complete strangers.
If this sounds like something you do on a regular basis, you need to change this habit.
Self-worth comes from within. Confident people don’t need to judge others because it’s not relevant to their life.
Self-worth comes from within. Confident people don't need to judge others because it's not relevant to their life. Click To Tweet
Esteem is one of the five elements in the hierarchy of needs. This is a theory that was developed by Abraham Maslow, an American psychologist.
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You don’t need to pass judgment in order to achieve feelings of prestige and accomplishment.
2. Speak With Conviction
Confident people speak with certainty.
If you’re having a conversation with a confident person, it’s unlikely that you’ll hear them use phrases like:
- “I think that . . . “
- “I’m not sure if . . . ”
- “Umm . . . ”
These people will look you in the eye and speak as though they are an expert on whatever subject is being discussed.
Even during casual conversations, confident people know how to speak in a way that’s direct and somewhat assertive.
Confident people make sense intellectually.
When you’re speaking, focus on the tone of your voice as well—don’t mumble or whisper.
Speak loud enough so that everyone who is part of the conversation can hear you, but not so loud that it disrupts everyone else in the room.
3. Learn to Listen
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People who lack confidence tend to speak more than they listen.
They feel as though they need to be heard. Their opinions, viewpoints, and stories must be shared with everyone around them.
But, confident people listen.
They don’t need to speak to add value to a conversation. Depending on the circumstances, they’ll know what to say . . . if they say anything at all.
Effective communication is one of the top leadership traits that every great leader needs.
Think twice before you speak. Don’t get caught up in the moment and say something that could come back to bite you.
Take a step back and digest what people around you are saying. Be an active listener, as opposed to just waiting for your turn to speak.
4. Exercise Regularly
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Confident people have a routine. Physical fitness is part of their daily regimen.
In addition to the physical benefits, staying active also increases your chances of living a happier life.
Your exercise regimen will vary based on a number of different factors. So don’t try and compare yourself to other people when it comes to your physical fitness goals.
At my age, I’m not heading to the gym to try and bench press 300 pounds.
For some of you, walking outside or on a treadmill for an hour or so every day might be enough, but the key here is to stay consistent. Learn the power of building rich habits and keeping them part of your routine.
5. Don’t be Afraid to Seek Advice
Confident people aren’t ashamed to ask for help.
It’s a common misconception that seeking help or advice is a sign of weakness. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
It's a common misconception that seeking help or advice is a sign of weakness. This couldn't be further from the truth. Click To Tweet
One of the most common reasons why people are afraid to seek advice is because they are afraid of what other people will think about them.
They don’t want to ask a “stupid question” or something that “they should know the answer to.”
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, regardless of the circumstances.
It could be something minor, like asking for directions around town. Or maybe you need advice about something more important, such as your career or your relationship.
6. Be Happy for Your Peers
The success of other people does not lower your self-worth.
When you say “good luck” to someone, make sure that you mean it.
Wish people great success. Celebrate their victories.
Insecure people don’t want others to succeed.
If a friend, family member, or co-worker achieves an accomplishment, it shouldn’t make you feel as though you are falling behind.
Don’t let yourself fall into a cycle of trying to “keep up with the Joneses.” Otherwise, you’ll never be satisfied.
Let your confidence speak for itself.
7. Take Advantage of Opportunities
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Don’t hesitate forever.
When you see an opportunity, seize the moment.
Stop worrying so much about the potential downsides. Time is short; you don’t have forever to do this stuff.
Confident people take risks.
Now, with that said, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are careless.
The ability to take calculated risks just means that you’re ready to put yourself in a position that sets you up for success.
8. Understand That It’s OK to Say “No”
Confident people only say “yes” to things that they really want to do.
You need to learn how to tell people “no.”
Don’t be a pushover. That won’t get you anywhere in life.
I’m not saying that you need to be selfish and only say “yes” to things that benefit you directly. We all do things that we have to but don’t necessarily want to.
Saying “yes” to everything and everyone is a habit that you need to break.
When a confident person says “no”, they are direct with their answer. This relates back to one of our previous talking points about speaking with conviction.
Don’t use phrases like:
- “I’ll let you know . . . “
- “Maybe . . . “
- “We’ll see . . . “
Give people a straight answer, even if that answer is “no.”
9. Don’t Let the Fear of Being Wrong Hold You Back
In life, you’re going to be wrong; it’s inevitable.
Just don’t be afraid of being wrong. This fear can hold you back from accomplishing great things.
Pick a target and go for it. Be decisive.
If you’re wrong, so what? What’s the worst thing that could happen?
To increase your chances of success, create a plan of action for your goal.
This can help eliminate some fears or feelings of uncertainty that might be hindering you from making a decision.
10. Don’t Procrastinate
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According to a recent study published in the New York Times, 20% of people are procrastinators.
Confident people don’t fall into this category.
People procrastinate for a number of different reasons:
- They don’t know how to get started.
- The task requires hard work.
- Lack of experience and motivation.
- They are easily distracted.
- If you’re someone who procrastinates, you need to break this habit ASAP. Learn
Once you’re able to prioritize and schedule your tasks, it will be easier for you to get things done instead of putting them off until the last minute.
11. Take Responsibility for Your Actions
We all make mistakes, but confident people don’t make excuses.
Own up to your actions.
It’s easy to blame others. Even if you think someone else might be at fault, look at yourself in the mirror and realize that you put yourself in your current situation.
Life is the most complex game you’ll play, and you are in it whether you like it—accept it, or not.
There are no excuses. No matter the scenario, there are plenty of answers and resources available to you.
Whether it’s related to work or your personal life, it’s ultimately your responsibility who you surround yourself with.
12. Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone
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Confident people aren’t afraid to do things that make them uncomfortable.
They don’t let fear stop them from achieving certain accomplishments.
Nothing worth having will come easily. In order to get where you want to be in life, you’ll need to do things that make you feel uncomfortable.
In order to get where you want to be in life, you'll need to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Click To Tweet
Just because something is convenient for you, it doesn’t mean that it’s the best option.
Convenience and greatness don’t mix. Discomfort produces growth. Comfort produces complacency and stagnation.
13. Act Without Waiting for Permission
You don’t need to ask for permission before you do something.
This doesn’t mean that you should be careless or rebellious, it just means that you don’t always need the get approval from others before making a decision.
As I said before, confident people take responsibility for their actions. So they accept that their actions may have consequences.
Don’t be timid. If you want something, go and get it.
14. Don’t Shy Away From Conflict
Conflict is part of life.
Most people try to avoid conflict at all costs. That’s because it can be awkward and difficult to speak to someone who you have a conflict with.
But avoiding conflict is the easy way out.
I’m not saying that you should be confrontational or look for conflict. But when you’re having a disagreement with someone, learn how to effectively manage and resolve the situation.
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Conflict resolution is related to your speaking skills and listening skills, which we discussed earlier.
Stand your ground, but don’t be stubborn. Learn how to make difficult decisions appropriately and deal with conflict in your life.
15. Don’t Seek Constant Praise and Attention
Don’t go out of your way to be the center of attention.
Confident people don’t need awards, praise, or recognition for their actions and achievements.
If you win something, such as an award, you need to learn how to deal with the attention properly. Even though you may not want to be the center of attention, there are instances where all eyes are on you.
There is a big difference between confidence and arrogance.
Be humble, thankful, and respectful.
How to be More Confident in Your Own Life
Confidence doesn’t come easily to all of us.
For those of you who are currently lacking confidence in your life, there are ways for you to change that.
Learn the habits of highly confident people. Spend time building your confidence.
Don’t be overwhelmed. A lot you may need to make lots of changes in your life in order to be more confident.
You don’t need to implement all of these habits overnight. But with time, changing your behavior will help you live your life with more confidence.
Once you’re able to feel confident, it will increase your chances of winning in all areas of your life.